Marriage is hard.

Throw a mortgage, kids, pets, so many responsibilities into the mix and it’s even harder.

You see these fairytale pictures and you think, I want that!

I want the smiling faces 24/7. The cuddles. The date nights, the attention. The fun.

Of course you want it all.

The thing is though, it’s all about comprise. A little give and a little take. A LOT of communication.

All that fancy stuff up there, that’s not even the most important parts. It’s the foundation that’s important and that’s what is built on all the things said above.

So I came home the other day already annoyed from working all day. (I hate when that happens)

So any little thing my husband said I already was prepared to make it into a “thing”.

And if you know me at all, you would know I really don’t like being negative. I don’t like conflict, I don’t like getting worked up. It’s just not my personality. Sometimes I do though because I am human, and who do I take it out on most?

You got it, my husband.

I think all of our spouses get the blunt of our moods, unfortunately.

So I was waiting, and just like I thought, he said something that irritated me and so it began.

We went to bed that night both stewing instead of a good night kiss.

And you know what? When I was laying there replaying it all, I thought it doesn’t even matter who’s right and who’s wrong.

Isn’t that what it’s usually about anyway? Which one was in the wrong.

I wasted a whole night being irritated and sassy and what for?

Nothing.

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So a few lessons I’ve learned since then.

1. Never go to bed angry

It’s obviously going to happen a time or two but it’s the worst! You don’t sleep good, you wake up feeling sad or mad still or mostly just regretful. Take the time to talk it out calmly before your eyes close for the night. Give that good night kiss or hug. It’s not worth it not to.

2. Realize your partner will do things differently than you.

Even if it’s folding the laundry or doing the dishes or putting things away or doing bath night with the kiddos. Everyone does things differently and that’s ok. Don’t get frustrated, just be grateful for the help. For the support and that you have someone with you to tackle this life with.

3. Don’t talk negative about your partner to others.

This is such a huge thing. I get it, you just get into a fight and the first thing you want to do is call your best friend and just complain. Stop for a second and take a breather. Go do something to keep your mind busy. Write your feelings down. The worst thing you could do is talk down about your partner in this life.

4. Have fun.

Everything doesn’t have to be serious and grown up talk all the time. I know it’s hard to get out and about in this time in our lives but make sure you still have fun together. Laugh together. Love together. That’s what it’s all about!

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So next time I come home irritated and just drained from the day or week I’ll remember all these lessons I’ve learned and tell myself that no matter what it doesn’t matter who’s right or who’s wrong.

What are some tips you use to keep your marriage healthy?

Thanks as always for reading!