Category: Marriage

Dear Coaches Wife. An Open Letter To You.

~ quirkymoms486 ~ 6 Comments

Dear Coaches Wife,

I see you.

What a lonely but rewarding title it is to be a coaches wife.

The other day I got really frustrated. In all dramatic glory, sometimes it feels like the game is a mistress.

There will be days when the only proof of your husbands existence in your house will be his things scattered about.

There will be weekends alone with the kids when there’s a tournament and two days a week where your dinners will be late because of practice.

Sometimes you will be far down in the priority list.

It’s definitely a complex relationship with the game. It’s a love/hate relationship.

But in all the negative, there’s also so much positive.

The nights when it’s you two alone and all he needs is a listening ear.

The pride you feel when you watch him doing what he’s truly passionate about.

The way those kids look up to him.

The people you meet along the way, the friendships made and the feeling of a different type of “family” with the team.

The way family time is so much more special when you have the time together.

The trust built up in your relationship.

Knowing you are strong enough to handle it all. The housework, the kids.

God made you a coaches wife for a reason.

No matter how alone or the sacrifices being made, know it’s to make his dreams come true.

To help those kids learn the best they can.

Know that you are a coaches wife and you should be proud.

So the next time you see a coaches wife, probably standing off to the side or in the middle of the parents on the bench, give them a smile.

It’s a tough title and it’s needed more than you know.

Love,

A travel hockey coaches wife.

5 Ways to Prioritize Your Marriage.

~ quirkymoms486 ~ 15 Comments

The other night my husband and I went out to dinner for the first time since we’ve had our newborn baby girl.

I was so excited about it. Like butterflies in my stomach excited. I navigated doing my hair and makeup between taking care of our newborn and our toddler and even the tantrums and the cries couldn’t put a damper on my mood.

I was going on a date with my husband, I was getting out of the house, I was wearing actual jeans, a crisp glass of wine was calling my name.

It was a wonderful night. A fall in love all over again type of night we desperately needed since becoming parents once again.

Life just gets so busy and that’s when I realized, we need to prioritize our marriage.

Between our children, working, his hockey coaching, sometimes “us” as an actual couple gets put on the back burner.

Who else can relate?

I’ve been constantly thinking of all the ways to prioritize our marriage and below is what I’ve come up with.

Set time aside for each other each day.

This goes in with the busyness I was talking about. Don’t put too much pressure on it but just make sure each day you have a little time for each other, even if it’s cooking dinner together or watching a show or just simply asking each other how their day went.

Respect each other.

Respect the wants and needs you feel for each other. Respect in general is just an important thing to have in any type of relationship but especially marriage. We all have different wants, needs, wishes and taking the time to listen, respect and prioritize them in your relationship is a wonderful thing.

Communication is key.

Does it even need an explanation? Communication is just #1. I can’t imagine my marriage without my husband wanting to share his thoughts with me. I can’t imagine him not wanting to talk things out with me. It’s just the #1 thing any relationship needs.

Date nights when able to.

Date nights out are so fun and definitely important. Like in the beginning, we just had our first date night since having our baby girl. Dinner was fantastic but after putting the kids to bed we sat in the living room with some wine and listened to our favorite songs we haven’t heard in forever and talked and laughed for hours.

So date nights out are great but don’t put pressure on it, you can have just as much one on one time at home as well!

Try to be interested in what each other likes.

I thought maybe this could relate to others as well. My husband and I have tons of the same interests but we also have tons of different ones as well. For instance, my love for writing and reading. Yet, he cheers me on and tells me to keep going with my blogging journey or will ask about the books I’m reading. He coaches travel hockey and it’s one of his biggest passions, so I go to as many games as I can and events and I love when he gives me play by plays of the games.

It helps us stay connected even when we are each doing separate things. Plus it’s always nice when someone wants to talk about something you enjoy!

With two kids now, I am definitely still figuring out this prioritizing thing! It’s a work in progress but I already know how important it is to keep a healthy marriage.

I hope these tips helped you! If you have more tips, please let us all know below. Thanks for reading!

It Doesn’t Matter Who’s Right & Who’s Wrong.

~ quirkymoms486 ~ 30 Comments

Marriage is hard.

Throw a mortgage, kids, pets, so many responsibilities into the mix and it’s even harder.

You see these fairytale pictures and you think, I want that!

I want the smiling faces 24/7. The cuddles. The date nights, the attention. The fun.

Of course you want it all.

The thing is though, it’s all about comprise. A little give and a little take. A LOT of communication.

All that fancy stuff up there, that’s not even the most important parts. It’s the foundation that’s important and that’s what is built on all the things said above.

So I came home the other day already annoyed from working all day. (I hate when that happens)

So any little thing my husband said I already was prepared to make it into a “thing”.

And if you know me at all, you would know I really don’t like being negative. I don’t like conflict, I don’t like getting worked up. It’s just not my personality. Sometimes I do though because I am human, and who do I take it out on most?

You got it, my husband.

I think all of our spouses get the blunt of our moods, unfortunately.

So I was waiting, and just like I thought, he said something that irritated me and so it began.

We went to bed that night both stewing instead of a good night kiss.

And you know what? When I was laying there replaying it all, I thought it doesn’t even matter who’s right and who’s wrong.

Isn’t that what it’s usually about anyway? Which one was in the wrong.

I wasted a whole night being irritated and sassy and what for?

Nothing.

So a few lessons I’ve learned since then.

1. Never go to bed angry

It’s obviously going to happen a time or two but it’s the worst! You don’t sleep good, you wake up feeling sad or mad still or mostly just regretful. Take the time to talk it out calmly before your eyes close for the night. Give that good night kiss or hug. It’s not worth it not to.

2. Realize your partner will do things differently than you.

Even if it’s folding the laundry or doing the dishes or putting things away or doing bath night with the kiddos. Everyone does things differently and that’s ok. Don’t get frustrated, just be grateful for the help. For the support and that you have someone with you to tackle this life with.

3. Don’t talk negative about your partner to others.

This is such a huge thing. I get it, you just get into a fight and the first thing you want to do is call your best friend and just complain. Stop for a second and take a breather. Go do something to keep your mind busy. Write your feelings down. The worst thing you could do is talk down about your partner in this life.

4. Have fun.

Everything doesn’t have to be serious and grown up talk all the time. I know it’s hard to get out and about in this time in our lives but make sure you still have fun together. Laugh together. Love together. That’s what it’s all about!

So next time I come home irritated and just drained from the day or week I’ll remember all these lessons I’ve learned and tell myself that no matter what it doesn’t matter who’s right or who’s wrong.

What are some tips you use to keep your marriage healthy?

Thanks as always for reading!

Why You Need To Fight For Your Marriage.

~ quirkymoms486 ~ 30 Comments

It’s the end of the day.

My perfectly styled hair at some point in the day has been replaced by a messy bun.

My coffee energy has run out a long, long, longgg time ago.

My eyes are tired and as soon as I walk in the door and the baby see’s me, he will cry for me.

So I have to rush to change my clothes, rush to take the work day off of me.

I normally work later than my husband so I quickly grab my son with usually no more than a little hi to the man I promised to love forever.

I am exhausted, I have a baby to tend to, a decent meal to put on the table, and night time routines to get to.

And at the end of all that? All I can usually think of is how good my glass of white wine is going to taste when I get a chance to myself.

But I need to stop and take a breath.

I really need to learn how to do this, because the man sitting on the other side of the couch with a beer in his hand?

He’s had a long day too.

He’s came home from work and has had to quickly change and quickly wash the work day off of him so he can grab our son.

He’s had to quickly get some things done, quickly eat dinner and help with night time routines.

We are a team.

And you know what?

He deserves so much more than a quick hi when I get home and a couch buddy to wind-down with at night.

You always think your romance will never die. That even when you have kids you promise you will still have date nights and time to be alone together.

It’s so hard.

It’s hard to be a wife, and a husband, and a parent and an employee.

Life is just hard.

But you have to make it work. You have to fight for the communication, for the little bit of time when you are alone, for the date nights even if it’s one at home in front of the TV.

It’s easy to get lost in the chaos of everyday life. To think you just always have to go-go-go to feel worthy.

But you don’t, not always at least.

So next time I come home from work, tired and just thinking of that glass of wine waiting for me while I put my feet up on the couch…and maybe even rub them on my husband even though he hates it… 😉

I’m going to make sure I come home and quickly change my clothes, quickly take the work day off of me.

But slowly kiss my husband hello. Slowly take my son from him with a smile made just for my man.

Because he deserves it and you know what? I deserve it too.

And you need to fight for your marriage, even when there’s not a thing wrong with it.

Because at the end of every long day? After the kids are in bed? It’s always going to be just the two of you.

And that’s something worth fighting for.