It Doesn’t Matter Who’s Right & Who’s Wrong.

~ quirkymoms486

Marriage is hard.

Throw a mortgage, kids, pets, so many responsibilities into the mix and it’s even harder.

You see these fairytale pictures and you think, I want that!

I want the smiling faces 24/7. The cuddles. The date nights, the attention. The fun.

Of course you want it all.

The thing is though, it’s all about comprise. A little give and a little take. A LOT of communication.

All that fancy stuff up there, that’s not even the most important parts. It’s the foundation that’s important and that’s what is built on all the things said above.

So I came home the other day already annoyed from working all day. (I hate when that happens)

So any little thing my husband said I already was prepared to make it into a “thing”.

And if you know me at all, you would know I really don’t like being negative. I don’t like conflict, I don’t like getting worked up. It’s just not my personality. Sometimes I do though because I am human, and who do I take it out on most?

You got it, my husband.

I think all of our spouses get the blunt of our moods, unfortunately.

So I was waiting, and just like I thought, he said something that irritated me and so it began.

We went to bed that night both stewing instead of a good night kiss.

And you know what? When I was laying there replaying it all, I thought it doesn’t even matter who’s right and who’s wrong.

Isn’t that what it’s usually about anyway? Which one was in the wrong.

I wasted a whole night being irritated and sassy and what for?

Nothing.

So a few lessons I’ve learned since then.

1. Never go to bed angry

It’s obviously going to happen a time or two but it’s the worst! You don’t sleep good, you wake up feeling sad or mad still or mostly just regretful. Take the time to talk it out calmly before your eyes close for the night. Give that good night kiss or hug. It’s not worth it not to.

2. Realize your partner will do things differently than you.

Even if it’s folding the laundry or doing the dishes or putting things away or doing bath night with the kiddos. Everyone does things differently and that’s ok. Don’t get frustrated, just be grateful for the help. For the support and that you have someone with you to tackle this life with.

3. Don’t talk negative about your partner to others.

This is such a huge thing. I get it, you just get into a fight and the first thing you want to do is call your best friend and just complain. Stop for a second and take a breather. Go do something to keep your mind busy. Write your feelings down. The worst thing you could do is talk down about your partner in this life.

4. Have fun.

Everything doesn’t have to be serious and grown up talk all the time. I know it’s hard to get out and about in this time in our lives but make sure you still have fun together. Laugh together. Love together. That’s what it’s all about!

So next time I come home irritated and just drained from the day or week I’ll remember all these lessons I’ve learned and tell myself that no matter what it doesn’t matter who’s right or who’s wrong.

What are some tips you use to keep your marriage healthy?

Thanks as always for reading!

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Published by quirkymoms486

At Quirky Workin' Moms you will find all things lifestyle and motherhood. From the ups and downs of being a mom, kid friendly recipes, family life and fun activities for both kids and adults. Quirky Workin' Moms is here to let you know that it's ok to be a working mom, it's ok to be a little quirky and it's ok to let loose every now and then!

30 thoughts on “It Doesn’t Matter Who’s Right & Who’s Wrong.”

  1. Yes! Movies, TV and social media paint this picture of a happy life together with no challenges to be seen. However, that’s just not reality! It takes work, communication and deciding every morning as you wake up to love your partner. We’ve had our ups and downs in our 8 years of marriage, but we’ve discovered that working together means we come out stronger from any difficult times that we face.

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  2. After being married for 31 years, I would have to say that communication and compromise are key. So are having the same values. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It’s a good reminder for all of us.

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  3. Ooh! Loved reading this post! My husband and I have been together for 8 years but are on 2 years of marriage. No kids, no mortgage, no pets! So, I’m curious to see our dynamic once all of that comes in the next 5 years or so. I think what’s interesting about our relationship is that we started dating so young so we went through the awkwardness of entering adulthood together so there isn’t much right now that surprises us Lol. Can’t give any tips yet as we’re still “newly weds” xx

    http://www.lynnmumbingmejia.com

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  4. This is such a lovely post! I hear so many people upset with their partners over the smallest of things and I know after time people can get on our nerves more but I’ve always wanted a marriage where that person is my best friend and we communicate these wee things to each other! Really nice post!

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  5. This is so wonderful and so true! My husband and I also manage an insurance agency together and he is legally blind, so I do all the driving. We are together nearly 90% of the time. The best part of it though? We always know when the other has had one heck of a day at work! He offers to “cook” on those (he orders take out since he can’t actually cook without hurting himself). Marriage some days is a cake walk, but other days definitely take that extra moment of inner peace to get through.

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  7. These are some great tips. I think we have all been in that place more often than we would ever like to admit. I agree its so important to make sure you don’t go to bed angry. I also think both people should know when they need some time out to calm down and be able to communicate this.

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  8. I love that you share some of the ways you make each day better for both of you! Communication is key to getting anything to work. After all, it is not just your dream you are living anymore. When you share something deeply with another person, compromise is key. 🙂
    Also love your thoughts on how important it is not to go to bed angry!

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  12. Love the whole point about not talking about your partner to others! So many people do that – and while it’s OK to vent sometimes, the person you should be talking to is your S.O.

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  14. Beautiful post! The media has really screwed up the minds of many leading them to think that marriage is all good days. The sad reality of that is that alot of marriages end in divorce simply because neither person wanted to compromise. Compromise and communication are two important tools needed for any relationship and without it, the balance will never be there.

    Thanks so much for sharing

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  15. I love this! It is so true. At the end of the day, or the end of the argument, it really doesn’t matter who is right or who is wrong. So many times my husband and I have had huge arguments that a last into the next day and we can’t even remember what started it. Clinging to who is right or wrong has never done our relationship any good and it has never helped us solve our problems. Thanks for this great reminder!

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